Posted Under: Dating for Men and Women,Dating Strategies,Seduction Techniques
To be a good flirt, it is just as important to avoid doing the wrong things as it is to do the right things.
Flirting is tricky because there is a fine line between being charming and coming across as too forward. It’s all too easy to be flirting effectively and then to suddenly crash and burn because you made one of the following mistakes:
1. Being crude.
If you make crass and overly forward sexual innuendos, rather than being a turn on, you can come across as a pervert. This is especially true if you’re a man, but even if you’re a female, you can come a cross as being a loose woman, and that’s probably not what you want.
2. Ignoring body language
Nearly 70% of communication is nonverbal. If you are not tuned into the subtle little shifts of body position of the person you’re talking to or what their eyes are saying, you’re going to miss out on those cues that say either “I’m really into you, keep talking,” or “I feel really uncomfortable around you; you’re a freak.”
3. Being overly “slick”
It’s fine to act cool, but don’t be a total phony. Your best flirting will come when it’s natural, not when you try to be someone you’re not. If you put on airs, you won’t be yourself, and that’s unattractive.
4. Being too serious
Remember, flirting is a lighthearted communication between a man and a woman. Avoid talking about deep subjects such as problems at work, the news or politics. That’s a regular conversation, not flirting. Flirting is about lightening the mood and showing that you’re an interesting and entertaining and fun loving person. This will ultimately help you to be seen as sexy and desirable.
5. Being excessively forward
Flirting is not about asking personal questions. It is about having a safe, enjoyable, lighthearted conversation. Get too personal too quickly and you put the other person on the defensive.
6. Being too touchy-feely
It’s never appropriate to grope or touch a woman unless you know she is attracted to you. Know the difference between acceptable and unacceptable touches, those that come too soon and those that are timed for the right moment. If you are hitting it off with her, it’s okay to touch her shoulder or lightly graze her arm but it is not okay to put your arm around her waist or to constantly put your hand on her shoulder.
7. Showing fear or nervousness
Insecurity is the exact opposite of flirting. It is seen as a sign of weakness, and is most decidedly unattractive. If you want to hit it off with another person, then you absolutely must hide your nerves at all costs. Fidgeting, stammering, eyes wandering off into the distance, a shaky voice–these are all fatal to flirting. You can’t have a lighthearted conversation if you seem scared of the other person.
8. Not knowing when to cut your losses
If your efforts at flirting don’t seem to be appreciated or aren’t being reciprocated, then it’s time to move on. You don’t need to make a big deal out of it. Just smile, say something like “It was nice talking to you,” and walk away.
As time goes on, your flirting skills will improve and you will develop an intuitive sense of what is appropriate in flirting and what is not.
Keep at it and success is sure to come!