To Be Loved By Others You Must Love Yourself

This post was written by Chandler Jones on December 22, 2011
Posted Under: Dating for Men and Women,Relationships

Most of us are inundated with the concept of love. We hear about it constantly, watch it again and again in the movies, and listen to it in most of our pop music. And yet many of us are still searching for it.

learning to love yourselfSomehow, the love we see, hear and read about does not seem to happen to us. How can such romantic, passionate love exist in the real world? That is the key question.

Unfortunately, many people, even if they do fall in love, find that it fades away over time, leaving a vacuum in their lives.

Perhaps it should start with self-love. Most of us tend to do a lot of of self-flagellation. We agonize over our decisions, push ourselves to achieve things, and stress over what we are or what we have failed to be. Too often, we leave no room to actually love ourselves.

Consider a child in the arms of his mother. The child is peaceful and is completely protected. He is totally relaxed. It’s a nice situation, isn’t it? Well, how about pampering — of mothering yourself?

Why not set aside a certain portion of each day to relax and forget about your worries? Just pamper yourself and let your mind and body go limp.

Just relax. Release all the strain and tension from your life. Think of nothing. No tension, no worries, no achievements, no goals, no exams, no projects, no promotions. There’s just yourself and utter relaxation.

Most importantly, love yourself as a person, for who you are. No criticism. No self-flagellation. No worry about good or bad. This is just the time to pamper yourself. Love yourself, and allow yourself to be overwhelmed with a feeling of total peace.

Too often we are brutal towards ourselves. We don’t need others to criticize or insult us, because we do such a good job of it ourselves. Are you such a person? Why not take the time to relax and love yourself?

Those who feel confident and comfortable about themselves tend to be more relaxed and comfortable around the opposite sex. That tends to make them sexier. As one person put it, “If someone thinks they’re sexy, then they’re sexy.”

This is not to say that you should be overconfident, however. One woman called this attitude in a man “The cult of the ladykiller.” Another said there is nothing more obnoxious than the so-called Don Juan. “If someone acts like a seducer, then you have to wonder how many other people they tried the same lines on before.”

But you do have to learn how to relax and accept yourself. You must have some confidence in yourself.  If you do, then your more self-confident, more self-accepting feeling could communicate itself to others.

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